The way I see it...

HI. Nice to meet you. Welcome to The Sylviad. I am inspired by quotes, books, songs, movies, pictures. Also, I'm obsessed with bookcases. I'm on twitter! Tweet tweet!

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This little guy needed a break mid-walk
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It helps me forget.


My whole life I’ve found myself making the same mistakes again and again, and I just don’t know why I never learn my lesson. It’s not like I get more than one life to do this all over. I think I’m going to try to start doing what you would do in my circumstances. Maybe following your pretend guidance will help me be a better person. 

Permalink Mi tía, mi madrina, mi tocaya. Te amo  Admiro a todas las mujeres de mi vida, pero sigo sin conocer a alguien tan generosa y tan cariñosa como tú. He llegado a la conclusión de que, en toda mi vida, ni una sola vez he oído una palabra mala hablada de ti. Sólo he oído de y visto tu infinita generosidad. Desde que era pequeña sabia que ése es el tipo de ser humano que quiero ser: siempre dando, siempre amorosa, siempre apoyando, y nunca jamás renunciando a tus seres queridos, incluso cuando no están conscientes de la suerte que tienen de haberte tenido como apoyo. Pero yo no creo que ese sea el caso. Has tocado e inspirado a tantos corazones. Espero que hayas sentido todo el amor que has dado al mundo regresar a ti en estos últimos 14 meses. De cada amiga, amigo, hermana, hermano, hija, hijo, sobrina, sobrino, tía, y tío que luchó esta batalla a tu lado hasta tu último día…espero que hayas sentido su amor. Porque yo sé que nosotros hemos sentido el tuyo y seguiremos sintiendolo, ya que se hace eco a través de nosotros en todo lo que hacemos. Me alegro de haberte tenido como parte de mi vida, pero también me alivia saber que ya no tienes que sufrir más .I admire all of the women in my life, but I have yet to meet someone as selfless, caring and as generous as you. I’ve come to the realization that, in all of my life, I have never once heard an ill word spoken about you. I have only ever heard and seen how relentlessly giving you were. I’ve known since I was little that that is the kind of human being I want to be: ever giving, ever loving, ever supporting, and never EVER giving up on those you love, even when they’re unaware of how lucky they are to have had you there for them. But I don’t think that’s the case. You have touched and inspired so many hearts. I hope that you felt all the love you have given out to the world reach back to you these last 14 months. From every friend, sister, brother, daughter, son, niece, nephew, aunt, and uncle who fought this battle with you to your last day…I hope you felt their love. Because I know that we’ve felt yours and will continue to feel it as it echoes through us in everything we do. I’m glad I had you to look up to, but I’m also relieved that you don’t have to suffer anymore. I love you.
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It is shape like dog
It is move like dog
Hello dog friend! Hello dog!

  • me: oooh. I was cleaning out my hard drive and found aaallll these old AIM convos that I saved and also the "journal" that I kept on word for some of freshman year
  • Ishyyy: of what???
  • me: I don't know why I kept some. I think I just liked the people I had the conversation with. or sometimes it was meaningful. but mostly I'm like what? why did I keep this lol. but it been really crazy seeing all the ways I've changed all surprisingly all the ways some of my core values have stayed the same
  • Sent at 11: 56 AM on Friday
  • Ishyyy: ahahaha damn
  • me: or not values...but beliefs. and things I would know about myself. and the ways that I would describe myself. that haven't changed at all.
  • Ishyyy: aw i have my word journal "diarY" too hahah
  • me: it's so weird that I knew those things about myself like 7 or more years ago
  • you still have it?
  • Ishyyy: yeaaa i doo. its long. def dont wanna read it. itll be embarrassing im sure hahaha
  • me: yeah I just read some of the last entries. I didn't want to read it all haha
  • me: but like some stuff is funny. like gurjit pointed out that I'm the only one who calls him gurjit in one convo. and I was like yeah I only like calling people by what they introduced themselves to me as
  • which is took me SO LONG to start calling you Ish hahaha
  • and everyone else is the same
  • Ishyyy: i think itd be weird
  • me: and there was this really REALLY interesting part in one of my diary entries
  • Ishyyy: if i went bak and read convos to see what my relationship was with ppl im not close to anymore. what was the interesting part
  • me: yeah I didn't feel like reading those
  • me: so the interesting part was that I was like ...I'll just look for it
  • it's some good stuff
  • Sent at 12: 03 PM on Friday
  • me: "My niceness seems to give guys the wrong impression every which way! They either read my niceness as being that way because I like them. Or, as I’ve recently found out, I’m a really nice person but too nice to be considered as more than a friend. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??? I am FINALLY being myself with everyone I meet and even that blows in my face. Blah blah BLAH! And I don’t understand myself either with what I want. I dream of a guy who would do anything for me, who would be sweet, gentleman-ly, and give me things. But I think when people act like that for real I get uncomfortable and don’t know how to deal with the kindness…and then feel like I don’t deserve it. So I settle for the guys who aren’t good enough for me…for the unreliable ones…for the ones where I have to put in more effort than I should have to. And then I just end up getting hurt…I don’t know where exactly I’m going with this one since I’ve never actually had anything that serious to go off of…but that’s what I think will happen for me in the future…and I don’t think I can avoid it."
  • Sent at 12: 06 PM on Friday
  • Ishyyy: omgg thats so weird. bc that is what happened kind of!
  • me: I predicted my own future. isn't that fucking crazy??? lolll
  • Ishyyy: hahaha thats soooo crazy!!! well i guess u know urself
  • me: yeah it's so weird haha
  • Sent at 12: 08 PM on Friday
  • me: I've learned now though. I'm not as nice. and I'm open about my opinion on things. which makes it way easier to find someone who will accept me fully. I still think overly romantic stuff makes me uncomfortable. because I don't know how to take it. but what a gentleman is is someone who respects you and your opinions. and your differences. and even if he doesn't agree with you will stand up for you to someone else. that's a good guy.
  • Ishyyy: yaa. anyone who doesnt fuck u over is a good guy hahahaha
  • me: hahaha it's sad how rare that is
  • Ishyyy: i know right. when did loyalty become such a problem
  • me: when cowardice overshadowed it...and dumbassness
  • Ishyyy: hahaha total cowardice. thats what i hate actually. cowards
  • me: I DO TOO
  • Ishyyy: thats my number one hate almost more than liars. bc liars come from cowards
  • me: yes
  • mine is not being open
  • triple threat
  • those three things all intertwine